


not so fake happy

by peachsneakers



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Intrulogical, Intrusive Thoughts, M/M, Mania, Remus typical stuff, Sensory Overload, Sympathetic Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:21:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 627
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22311655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachsneakers/pseuds/peachsneakers
Summary: Sometimes Remus needs Logan.
Relationships: Dark Creativity | Remus "The Duke" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Comments: 11
Kudos: 235





	not so fake happy

**Author's Note:**

> lyrics at the beginning are from mumford & sons "after the storm"
> 
> me? project onto remus? it's more likely than you think!

_Night has always pushed up day_   
_You must know life to see decay_   
_But I won't rot, I won't rot_   
_Not this mind and not this heart,_   
_I won't rot._

Sometimes Remus can't sleep.

Sometimes Remus can't sleep, but he can't stand to be awake one more minute either, pacing up and down the well-worn floor boards in his room, rubbing his arms up and down to feel the rough texture of his sleeves, until he can't take that anymore either and the offending shirt has been flung into a corner or on the bed or on one memorable occasion, the ceiling fan. He paces paces paces, burning up with something he can't express, his words spilling over each other like ice cubes clinking in a glass, like a cluster of honey bees waggling their way into a fast trip to a fresh patch of flowers. He rubs his hands together until he's rubbed them raw, until blood wells to the surface in tiny beads of red, and even then, he can't stop.

"What if a cat had three heads? Wouldn't that be wild? What if you jumped from a moving car? What if you jumped from a semi? A _boat_? What if you jumped off a boat into shark-infested waters? What if you jumped off the top of the tallest building in the whole world? Would you splat as you hit the ground? Would anyone ever find mushy bits of your body, or would you disintegrate on impact? What if-"

And then, like a balm to Remus's irritated nerves, a light turns on in the hallway, and the door clicks open.

"Remus?" Logan asks, and a bare-chested Remus rushes over, fidgeting from foot to foot.

"Lo Lo!" Remus cheers, and it's just this side of manic, just this side of _something is wrong and I can't stop it,_ just past _please help me_.

Logan nods and snaps his fingers, changing the rest of Remus's clothes to soft octopus-printed pajamas.

"Come with me," Logan says. He doesn't touch Remus and Remus both hates and appreciates it. He wants to be close close close, wants skin pressed against skin until they melt into one, but the thought revolts him at the same time, makes him want to scrub his flesh right off until he's nothing but muscle and bone and blood pumping away.

They reach Logan's room and as soon as Remus steps over the threshold, his shoulders slump into unconscious relaxation, as the frenetic energy that has fueled him thus far begins to drain away. He clambers on top of Logan's bed, starfishing across the blankets and staring up at the ceiling. The night sky welcomes him, constellations spinning across the confines of Logan's ceiling.

"Better?" Logan asks quietly, an interminable amount of time later. Remus nods, scooting across the bed and patting next to him. Logan lies down, his hand automatically finding Remus's. The touch is soft but steady, and Remus feels more tension bleed away, like it was never there in the first place.

"I'm okay," Remus blurts out. He is startled to realize it is the truth.

"You are," Logan agrees calmly. "But your hands aren't. They're bleeding, cephy."

"Oh yeah," Remus says, his face reddening.

"I'll get the first aid kit," Logan says, shifting in preparation to get up. Remus seizes his hand, his grip panicky strong.

"Not yet?" He requests, his face still full of heat. "Please?" Logan hesitates, then sighs.

"In a few minutes," he says. "I will grant you that. But they do need to be looked after."

"I know," Remus agrees readily enough. "Just- Not yet." He bumps shoulders with Logan and a happy rush of breath escapes.

Tilting his head, he watches the stars, and thinks of nothing.


End file.
